Back in the hospital again...

So we were in the hospital from Tuesday morning till Saturday evening. Michael brought Conner in for his 24 hour follow up on Sunday morning while I stayed home to recover and catch a little sleep. 4 hours later one of my friends woke me up to tell me she had gotten a call from Michael (my phone was dead) and Conner needed to be checked back into the hospital for jaundice. She drove me up right away where Michael filled me in on what was going on.

Apparently jaundice is fairly common in newborns; in low levels, it isn't anything to worry about. When the levels get as high as Conner's, however, it needs to be treated, beginning with massive amounts of UV light. Even though Michael and I were beginning to be tired of the hospital, Conner was in absolute heaven. He sprawled out under those lamps like he was tanning at a 5 star resort and we were all at his beck and call.

After days under the lamp his jaundice score finally reached acceptable levels and he was removed from the light. We had to stick around for more testing to be sure it didn't rebound and were FINALLY released Wednesday afternoon, almost a full week after he was born. So we went and bought a stroller. Yup, didn't have that yet, either.

Conner Davis Rodgers is born!

So I went in for my 37 week checkup at 9:45am on Tuesday, July 7. I mentioned that I'd had a constant headache for about a week and pointed out my huge, puffy feet and ankles. The doctor noted my elevated blood pressure and, even though baby and I seemed perfectly fine in every other regard, decided to send me up to Labor and Delivery to get checked for pre-eclampsia. After 3 hours of boredom in L&D waiting for test results, 3 doctors came in and told me that I was borderline pre-eclamptic and they recommended I proceed with an induction. They said I could stay overnight and get re-tested in the morning but since pre-eclampsia only gets worse and I was considered "full term" there was really no point. I asked if it was possible to wait until, say, Friday, because I just wasn't ready. They said of course but they didn't recommend it and I would have to sign an Against Medical Advice form. At this point I began to cry because I didn't know what to do and Michael was at work...

Now before you tell me I'm silly, please imagine what was running through my mind. Constant mental images of the baby's room... that we had just begun repainting... can't picture what's so bad about that? Well, take a look:

Yup, now you see my stress. Anyway, I called Michael at work and he drove up right away. Of course we decided to move forward with the induction since it was the best thing for Conner's health (we had decided upon his name literally the day before).

Around 2pm Michael and I were quickly moved into a delivery room where they proceeded to give me my last meal of old chicken and stale garlic bread (which I inhaled because I'd been there all day and hadn't eaten a thing since 8am). They started me on some IV drug to begin the labor since I wasn't dilated at all and Conner showed no sign of wanting to be born any time soon. Michael ran home and packed a bag; yup, we were completely unprepared. Sometime that evening they decided to give me an epidural since I was finally beginning to have contractions. I was dilated to 3 by that point.

I begged for a c-section, telling them that Conner was stubborn and enjoying his womb time and since it was so early there was no way he was going to cooperate with labor, but they refused to even consider it. Michael spent the rest of the labor bringing me ice chips and helping me switch sides because I kept getting so antsy staying in one position. Luckily there was a recliner/bed in the room for him to sleep in.

Our super nice labor room...

My millions of meds...

Michael's recliner/bed. Oh, and me.

Sometime Wednesday afternoon I was checked again and the doctor reported I was only dilated to 5. They also kept losing the baby's heartrate so they decided to break my water in order to put a monitor directly onto his head (not a fun process). This was when the doctor discovered that Conner had his hand on top of his head and refused to move it, even when the doctor poked and pinched him. After the baby had pulled the monitors off his head 3 times and they realized his hand was keeping me from dilating, they broke the "unfortunate" news that we were going to have to go with a C-section. FINALLY! Because I was having full contractions by this point and was screaming in pain (the epidural had most definitely worn off) I told them to just do it and get it over with already.

I was quickly moved to the operating room, prepped, and given full, blessed numbness from the waist down. Michael was escorted in, completely done up in scrubs. He sat there by my head and talked to me about I can't even recall what, while they tugged and pulled below the curtain (I specifically told them NO mirrors). Suddenly, at 8:45pm, we heard a little wailing, sobbing sound and realized Conner had been born! The surgeon handed him to the peds docs, who brought him over to the corner and did their tests. Michael reported that he wasn't very slimey, was nicely pink, and had lots of hair.

The view from the recovery room...

Awww...

Wow I am super pale... oh wait, I just went through 30 hours of labor and then major abdominal surgery... I guess that's ok then.

Conner likes to snuggle... he's a little snuggle bug...

Ah, the hand that caused all the trouble. Conner still likes to keep his hands by his face at all times.

Testing videos...

We just noticed that my awesome digital camera has a video setting, so I am testing it out. Hopefully it will load with no problems, which means if you aren't able to come down and visit us when Baby is born, you can still see videos!

This is a short video I took of Shadow when he was moping around acting all depressed (sorry it's so dark, it was our first video). Anyone who has met Shadow knows that this is NOT normal behavior for him, and the main reason I decided to take him in to the vet.

Pregnancy Q&A...

Should I have a baby after 35?

No, 35 children are enough.

Can a mother get pregnant while nursing?
Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.

My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
Your therapist.

When will my baby move?
With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.

Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear-end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
Yes, your bladder.

What is the most common pregnancy craving?
For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
Childbirth.

The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
‘Cause you’re fatter than they are.

My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
Um, what’s your question?

What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him.

What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy?
Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder.

My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.

Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.

Under what circumstances should a baby not be circumcised?
When it’s a girl, for starters.

What causes baby blues?
Tanned, hard-bodied bimbos.

Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
Yes, pregnancy.

What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
When you see teeth marks.

Do I have to have a baby shower?
Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.

Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.